Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Nothing Wonderful About This Wednesday

Time for me to get personal again. Mostly just to vent. Recently the hubby and I got away to Cali for a week. While it was the most beautiful state I've seen, my mind was back home. Three days into the trip, we got the call. The call that changes everyones life. "Your mom doesn't have much time left...."


What do you say to that? How do you deal with that? I've been in and out of a hospital with my mom her whole life, you're telling me this is how it ends??  She's fought every battle possible, has so much she wants to see and do yet, isn't ready to die, but doesn't get a choice? Its bullshit. Its beyond unfair. And not just cause its my Mom, its cancer in general. To watch your mother, your best friend, the person whos been there for you your whole life, not have a choice. Its the most helpless feeling a person can have.

We're taking it day by day. It ain't easy, just enjoying what time we do have left. Not leaving anything unsaid. Some days are ok, some are worse. Might come a day when she can't talk, which will be the icing on the cake. Right now she's living off those of you who know her and have come into see her. She loves it. I can't thank you all enough.

My mom is about the biggest animal lover out there. We're lucky enough to be able to bring dogs into the care center and its about the only time my mom grins from ear to ear.....and its what I'll miss the most. Her love.

Love you so much.

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